I'm Jealous...

-
I am jealous...
Not of the social butterfly, or the popular girl, or even the pretty one, but of those who have so much confidence. Of those who don't struggle with inferiority complex. Of the who don't have to rethink their words after they're spoken. Of those who don't feel guilty calling others out. 

I'm jealous...
Not of those who are pretty, but of those who feel comfortable in their skin. Of those who don't have to rethink their outfit choices. Of those who don't overthink the food they consume. Of those who have perfect glowy skin. Of those whose backs don't form love handles.

I'm jealous...
Not of the teacher's pet, but of those who have everything figured out. Of those who don't rethink their life choices. Of those who feel confident of their answers. Of those who don't have to worry about upcoming exams. Of those who know they're gonna excell no matter what.

I'm jealous...
Not of the jolly kid, but of those who are living, not surviving. Of those who can live in the moment without having to think about the consequences. Of those who stress less and enjoy more. Of those who are smiling more than weeping.

But then I think to myself...
There are people who are jealous of my smiling face, my intellect, my social energy, my grades, my laugh, my life, and maybe my everything.

So in that case,
I'm jealous of myself...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Imposter is Among Us...

-
Image
Yeah, that's right. The Imposter is Among Us. It isn't just a game. It's happening in real time, in real life. Imposter Syndrome, or 'Perceived Fraudulance' as many experts call it, is a common psychological phenomenon that affects many people irrespective of their social status or profession. It is characterized by doubt, inadequacy, and self-doubt despite achieving significant success in one's career. In this blog post, we will explore what Imposter Syndrome is, its causes and effects, ways to overcome it, and a little about my relationship with it. Imposter Syndrome is a psychological pattern where an individual doubts their abilities, skills, and accomplishments, and feels like a fraud. They believe they do not deserve the success they have achieved and attribute their accomplishments to luck or external factors such as connections or good timing. This syndrome can affect anyone, from students to professionals in various fields, including business, academia,
Read more

venting...

-
Image
Writers Block... A big bad writers block is what I was experiencing for... Just about 3 whole months.  Life gets so hectic when a new semester starts. Everything gets so messy. There's stress, a whole bunch of it. Stress about the new grade your getting in. About the new people you'll meet. About the new teachers you'll have. About... Every little thing. I remember sometime in May that I started feeling really bad about myself, and that feeling kept clinging on to me till the end of June. I am much better now, but when I look back at those times, all I can recall is how dark everything felt.  I'm writing from an auditorium full of very noisy children by the way, hence the poor writing.  Anyways, I went to a doctor's appointment last Monday. As I sat there in complete silence in the waiting room for a little over 30 minutes, I started thinking about... A great deal of things.  Most prominently, I thought about how time changes things. It feels like just y
Read more

Tough times...

-
You know what sucks more than mental health issues? Not being able to share them. Idk how many people can relate (I really hope you don't), but sometimes you just want to rip your guts out in frustration, and the only thing that can help is talking it out with someone. But the issue with that is, you feel like you're being annoying or attention-seeking just by talking about it. That hurts. But it doesn't stop there. Oh yeah, it can get worse.  What if you can't even tell your parents about your mental state? What if you really really need therapy, but can't ask for it because you know that no-one will take it seriously and think that it's all "inside your head". I whole-heartedly hope that no one has to feel this way in their lifetime. But I am unfortunate enough to go through this. And no matter how many loving people surround you in your journey, it's always so lonely, so cold, so dark. No one knows the value of a warm hug more than a person whos
Read more