The 'AG' Ranter

Trust me. No matter how much you try, no one will change their opinion about you unless you really change yourself first. How many times do I have to cry on my rooftop with Conan Gray in the background? How many times do I have to rethink my life? How many times do I have to remove the thought of doing the unthinkable from my mind?  It's exhausting, eveything.  It's exhausting to breathe. It's exhausting to think. It's exhausting to live. I am surviving, not living. When will this change?  Why is it the way it is? Why? why?...

Somewhere underneath my tough skin, There lies a little something. Though you have to find it deep within, Even deeper, past every pain, every dumb thing. There, you'll see a familiar face,  A pair of eyes looking your way. This is a safe, magical place, It scares all your fears away. A small hand extends in your direction, Then, without force, it forces you closer. It will take you in it's tiny arms, giving you protection. To remind you, you aren't a loser. At once, it's like a connection, Like a lost puzzle piece back in its place. It's all you need but with more affection, It will take you in, with all it's grace. But then your approached by a question, "How could you let me go?" There was nothing to give but another question, "Do you really want to know?" Suddenly, all the happy memories surround you, Emotions that were unheard of suddenly appear. All of them were there, for you to view, All those who were loved and dear. Recollecting exp

I am jealous... Not of the social butterfly, or the popular girl, or even the pretty one, but of those who have so much confidence. Of those who don't struggle with inferiority complex. Of the who don't have to rethink their words after they're spoken. Of those who don't feel guilty calling others out.  I'm jealous... Not of those who are pretty, but of those who feel comfortable in their skin. Of those who don't have to rethink their outfit choices. Of those who don't overthink the food they consume. Of those who have perfect glowy skin. Of those whose backs don't form love handles. I'm jealous... Not of the teacher's pet, but of those who have everything figured out. Of those who don't rethink their life choices. Of those who feel confident of their answers. Of those who don't have to worry about upcoming exams. Of those who know they're gonna excell no matter what. I'm jealous... Not of the jolly kid, but of those who are livin

It's me, Hi! I'm the problem it's me... Yep, I myself am a disgrace to myself .  I am back at the auditorium btw, for a competition I took part in. And I disappointed myself big time. So, basically it was like a poem competition, and everyone except me was doing it in Hindi (I was doing it in English) and I am pretty sure one of the judges was not very impressed.  I froze before I even got on stage. Idk what it is, I'm pretty good at communicating my thoughts, but every single time I have to go on stage without my script or any piece of paper to read off of, I just... Fck all of it up, yk?  As of right now, as I listen to another girl's poem, I can just feel the inferiority complex kicking in.  I am in midst of an exam week right now, and this is how it's going so far --- I got 95% on my Hindi paper, and totally fucked up my Math paper. I have an English paper tomorrow and am I planning on studying for that? No. Absolutely not. Also, something reall

Writers Block... A big bad writers block is what I was experiencing for... Just about 3 whole months.  Life gets so hectic when a new semester starts. Everything gets so messy. There's stress, a whole bunch of it. Stress about the new grade your getting in. About the new people you'll meet. About the new teachers you'll have. About... Every little thing. I remember sometime in May that I started feeling really bad about myself, and that feeling kept clinging on to me till the end of June. I am much better now, but when I look back at those times, all I can recall is how dark everything felt.  I'm writing from an auditorium full of very noisy children by the way, hence the poor writing.  Anyways, I went to a doctor's appointment last Monday. As I sat there in complete silence in the waiting room for a little over 30 minutes, I started thinking about... A great deal of things.  Most prominently, I thought about how time changes things. It feels like just y

I have these. You have these. Everyone does. Insecurities. Oh, this dreaded word. I and it have come a long way. I guess I can say I have a long history with it. But first, what even are insecurities? Insecurities are a common part of the human experience. They are those nagging thoughts and feelings that we all have about ourselves, our abilities, and our worth. No matter how confident someone may appear on the outside, there are always moments of self-doubt and insecurity.  Insecurities can take many different forms. For some, it may be a fear of failure or not measuring up to expectations. For others, it may be a physical insecurity, such as feeling self-conscious about their appearance. Insecurities can also be rooted in past experiences or traumas, leading to a lack of trust in oneself or others. Whatever the cause, insecurities can be overwhelming and negatively impact our mental and emotional well-being. Insecurities can have a significant impact on our lives. They can lead to a